The Soul Mate (SM) Experiment

Too frequently I have discussions with brothers and sisters that are single and more experimental in their approach to seeking Black Love. One of the major reasons why many brothers and sisters are consistently unsuccessful in their pursuit of Black Love and experience unsuccessful relationships, is because they simply do not know or choose not to follow the proper laws of nature, or rules to the game, which will lead them to what they desire.

In my third year of a loving and fulfilling relationship with my soul mate (SM), whom I have been friends with for over a decade now, I have ascertained that there are five laws that I believe to be critical variables in the mathematical equation of Black Love:

Black Love = Law of Friendship + Law of Communication + Law of Attraction + Law of Action



Friendship is the most important law your SM brings to the table because it contains the element of trust. One of the major contributions to an unsuccessful relationship or a divorce is mistrust between two people. Once you lose trust it is harder than morning wood to get it back (pause)! You trust your friends with secrets, thoughts, and feelings because you know you can confide in them not to tell anyone and they will never judge you too harshly no matter what comes out of your mouth. The mathematics are simple, Friends= SMs.

The second law you and your potential SM should apply, is coherent and consistent communication. It is important to remember communication goes both ways! This is another reason there are so many unsuccessful relationships and marriages. After the sex and the money, if you have that, what do you talk about? You have to be able to keep people stimulated intellectually. You do so by having an open line of honest communication about a wide range of subjects. Including sex!

As the third law suggests, it is important that there is some degree of attraction between you and your SM, physically and metaphysically. The difference is in the desire. Physically you may be attracted to your SM’s swag. Their intangibles such as their personality, their unique style, their smile, or their energy. Doesn’t necessarily make you want to have sex with them every time you are around them, but their energy makes them fun to be around. Compatibility is key and in my experience, the cosmos or horoscopes are a good tool to use to determine MAAT (balance) between you and your significant other. Of course these are not ALWAYS accurate but more often than not they are very close. But the only way to know for sure is to dive in head first, which is where the fourth law comes in.

You must take action to assess the compatibility of you and your potential SM! The way my SM and I tested our compatibility both privately and publicly was by going to dinner, brunch, movies, bars for happy hour, clubbing, concerts and by going to food truck festivals. This type of action is not only fun but more importantly we were spending quality time with one another, which is a key element to successful relationships right?

Once you have determined that you are compatible enough with someone that you are not annoyed if you are around them too long, the second part of this law should be practiced, safely and responsibly, by participating in sex. Some people might use religion as an excuse or explanation as why they may not want to cooperate, which one should respect, but most are willing to participate with the proper presentation and timing.

While sex or making love can be a very enjoyable experience, one should not place the law of action, or sex, first when pursuing Black Love because more often than not it provides a weak foundation to build longevity. This is what the SM Experiment is all about, taking a more genuine approach to Black Love and dating by participating in very specific, yet intimate laws with people one can connect with on a level that goes beyond the physical plane. Peace!